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Family members

Being close to someone affected by the disease of alcoholism can be demanding, frustrating, and painful. Many family members and loved ones experience feelings of powerlessness, guilt, or shame
– and try to help in ways that don't always work. The disease of alcoholism can be demanding, frustrating, and painful. Many family members and loved ones experience feelings of powerlessness, guilt, or shame – and try to help in ways that don't always work.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), we often say that no one can help an alcoholic until that person themselves is ready to seek help. That doesn't mean you are helpless – quite the opposite. There is support and hope, also for you.

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Al-Anon is an independent organization for family members and loved ones of alcoholics. There, you can meet others in the same situation and gain support and insight.

You are also very welcome at open AA meetings. As a loved one, it can be helpful to hear others'
stories and get a glimpse of how alcoholism is experienced from the inside. Look for the open
meetings in the group overview. You’ll find when and where the meetings are.

What is an alcoholic?

In the alcoholic's perception of reality, drinking is absolutely necessary to endure existence. The need
to drink often takes priority over everything else, including family, friends, and work. It may seem
impossible to help an alcoholic, but our experience is that for us alcoholics, it is helpful when
someone speaks up about what they see, how they feel, and what they think, and that they are setting
boundaries. This forces us to see some of the consequences of our drinking. It is precisely these
consequences that can make us realize that we need help.

Is AA religious?

Spirituality is the opposite of the material and concerns the soul, the self. Spirituality is not the same as religious doctrine or religion, but is rather about an increased awareness and understanding of our inner spiritual life – our thoughts, feelings, and our presence in and participation in a larger context.

In AA, we speak of a spiritual awakening because that is what happens when we work our way through the Twelve Steps. As alcoholics, we are spiritually impoverished. Through working the Steps, we gain freedom and new insights. We emerge from the hopeless and dark tunnel. We discover and experience things with new, sober eyes and a healthier mind, in ways we have never experienced before. We recover spiritually through a higher spiritual power that has entered our lives.

A Higher Power is needed because we are powerless over alcohol. Many members experience the AA group itself as their Higher Power. AA is not religious, but is based on broad, universal spiritual principles that work both for those who have a religion and for those who do not wish to have one. (From se.aa)

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